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“Disney+ Launch Disease” Sweeps Country, Millions Affected

0 1 year ago

Businesses and schools across the country are scrambling to operate as normal due to a mystery illness we here at Just Disney have named “Disney+ Launch Disease” that has seemingly affected over half the workforce today. One small business in North Carolina posted on social media, “We apologize to our valued customers that our operating hours will vary today due to all employees calling in sick, including the boss with the keys. When we will open again is unforseen.”

There have been no official reports on what this “Disney+ Launch Disease” specifically is from any local, state or federal government agencies since it appears no one showed up to work there either. No one calling in sick to work seem to be showing up to hospitals, doctor’s offices, or anywhere else in public for that matter. Since there is no source, reported symptoms, or literally any other data regarding this “Disney+ Launch Disease,” it should hopefully pass all those affected quickly, and business should return to normal maybe as early as tomorrow, but employers shouldn’t expect normalcy until probably next week.

The only reliable or credible information we could find was that most employees who have called in sick today have all been actively posting on social media how grateful they are that their illness coincided with the new Disney+ streaming service launch. “Thank goodness I saved all this sick time from work! I stayed up all night just to watch The Mandalorian first, then maybe Lady and the Tramp, and later I’ll move on to some old Disney cartoons. I might need to call in sick tomorrow if I don’t get to watch enough today,” said one user on Facebook. The user declined to state or reply to us with specifics or the cause of any legitimate ailment they were supposedly suffering from. (If you are one of those affected, please be sure to check our complete launch list of Disney+ content to help you feel better.)

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics in March 2018, “71 percent of workers in private industry had paid sick leave benefits. About 6 in 10 of those workers received a fixed number of sick leave days each year. Four percent could use sick days as needed, and the rest were in consolidated leave plans, which provide time off for workers to use for a variety of purposes. Among those who received a fixed number of sick leave days, the amount varied depending on the employee’s length of service and the size of the establishment.” And despite these numbers not reflecting the entire workforce, today’s “Disney+ Launch Disease” is not discriminating in who it affects and has people who DON’T receive paid leave staying home in mass numbers, too.

According to Jumpshot, an analytics company, the Disney+ streaming services had over 1.9 million subscribers prior to it’s launch on Nov 12. There has never been a scientific connection between downloading an app like Disney+ and an actual disease before so there is probably no need for the public to panic, since no one reportedly suffering from the disease is actually seeking medical attention… but the coincidence of everyone calling in sick on Disney+ is undeniable.

Were you affected by “Disney+ Launch Disease” or know someone who was? Tell us in the comments what you watched first on Disney+ in the comments and come join Just Disney over on social media!

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